


Neverland

by catchandelier



Series: X Marks the Spot [2]
Category: Cardcaptor Sakura, Teen Titans, Young Justice
Genre: Rewrite, everybody - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-02 22:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8685547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catchandelier/pseuds/catchandelier
Summary: Self Insertion. It’s a phase, they say. It’s a trend, they say. It’s a reflection of yourself at a specific period of time; what you want, who you want, what you value, everything- no one ever says.For our purposes, let’s break it down cleanly. All roads lead to hell. It’s the person who knows this from the start that remembers coupons for burn cream when they go to the checkout line. Goddamnit, BROB.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

The contents of my bag are as follows:

 

  * 1 (One) set of Standard DnD Adventure Dice; Holographic Listerine color
  * 10 (Ten) Standard Dice; Black on White color
  * 1 (One) Empty Spell Bag
  * 1 (One) General Spell Bag; Standard Chai Tea Herbs with Rosebuds and Chamomile
  * 4 (Four) Animal Fetishes; Two Cats, One Alligator, One Donkey
  * 1 (One) Medium Sea Shell; White with Lavender stripe
  * 2 (Two) Protective Charms; One Shallot, One Garlic (clove)
  * 3 (Three) Avacado Pits (dried)
  * 1 (One) Metal Acorn, heavy for it’s size
  * 1 (One) Full Set of Bronze runes, charms Nordic style; could be made into a bracelet
  * 1 (One) pair of gold plated clip on double heart earrings
  * 1 (One) ugly Amulet
  * 1 (One) assortment of gemstones for use in magic
  * 1 (One) set of vague data cards about aforementioned gemstones
  * 1 (One) bottle of Lavender Oil
  * 1 (One) bottle of mixed perfume oil
  * 1 (One) beeswax candle shaped like a beehive, slightly melted
  * 1 (One) two-chambered secret box
  * 1 (One) palm sized shallow clay dish; dark blue glaze
  * 2 (Two) bags of plain herbs; Rosebuds, Chamomile
  * ½ (One Half) bag of Tropical Scent votive candles from IKEA
  * 4 (Four) Necklaces; one plastic and full of spells, the other three less so
  * 1 (One) Swiss army knife
  * 3 (Three) decks of cards; Tarot, Fortune Telling, Playing
  * 1 (One) Ghostbusters Novelty Pin
  * 3 (Three) band shirts
  * 1 (One) light hoodie
  * 1 (One) very flexible, definitely magical, mask
  * 1 (One) pair of very long gloves
  * 1 (One) very practical red tunic with a hood
  * 1 (One) set of keys
  * 1 (One) wallet with ID, money, and various gift cards
  * 1 (One) glasses case
  * 1 (One) empty bento-style lunch box; smells slightly of soap
  * 1 (One) case of lacquered chopsticks 
  * Oh yes, and 1 (One) cherry chapstick I found under the computer table



 

The novelty pin is problematic, because according to the library computer, and Gooble, Ghostbusters doesn’t exist. Making lists usually makes me feel better. This is not helping. According to me, neither does Happy Harbor, Rhode Island- exist, that is. 

I was done with it before I realized what I had done- I’d pulled out a pair of truly ostentatious glasses and plunked them onto my face. Suddenly seeing the world resolve into clarity is jarring when one does not recall ever truly needing glasses- and, yes, indeed, when raised them up and closed one eye, the world snapped into close view, then quite far indeed; both together, however, seemed to quite stymie my peeper portion of the ol’ thinkpan. Pulled off my mask and gloves, rolled them in the red- tunic might be a better word, it’s too short for a dress- slid into a band shirt I suddenly realize must not exist here either, dress roll in bag, glasses on, anonymity away. I was just trying to get to the ‘Con- what the hell just happened?

I shove a hand through my pin straight hair- another anomaly- and heave a sigh. This isn’t helping. The door to the library rattles for a moment, and- holy fuck that was a car that just flew past, oh what the hell. Pontiac Firebird, yellow bird on the hood.

What. Wait wait wait- I’ve seen this- no. No no no.

 

Shit where’s the lavatory- I logout of my computer and walk briskly to the lav, glance at the mirror- holy shit who is that- oh wait. Wait, no, that’s a ghost- thaaaaaaat’s me. That’s me, I drew that girl but that’s  _ me _ what the hell. The red-black hair. The heterochromia. The foxy face. What the fuck. What the fuck.

Wait that means- these aren’t ordinary tarot cards these are- Cards. Shit. Oh what the fuck.

 

No, no time for that- people could be really hurt out there, I just gotta- glasses off shirt off gloves on dress on mask on oh fuck what am I even- no. I can help, I know I can help.

 

“Oh god I’m really about to do this. Oh god why do I sound like I’m from Newport- no, no, not the time, later, worry about that later.” I said to my reflection.

 

I really am someone else entirely. Oh boy.

 

I slip out of the unlocked window, my bag tight across my body with the belts in a neat asymetrical x shape against my chest. My red boots set down silently on the windy alley beside the library. I did it on instinct before; I just have to let it happen.

 

There’s a card in my hand. It’s called Fly. It’s a goose. I place Fly, sit astride the massive canada goose, and with a mighty rushing of wings we take off into the sky. I am immediately nauseous with fear. However, I’m more than just a character- I trust Fly. Fly isn’t going to drop me, and I will not fall. There’s a massive twister in the distance, by the power plant. Oh fuck, I think I’m a local.

Fly banks into a strafing run alongside the powerplant; there’s two cards in my hand this time. Sword and Wind; A sheathed sword, and a big fluffy sheep dog. I place Wind first with the simple command: “Go and corral the red guy’s winds. They’re causing havoc all over.” Wind bounds off; I place sword in my fighting hand and draw again. This time, it’s Shield and Jump; I place both, then tell Fly to stay nearby but out of sight. We have a signal that will let her know I need her services again; shield in the left hand, sword in the right, I jump from Fly’s back and open a gash in metal skin. Sparks fly; I fall and land safely on the grass.

I might have fucked up.

As I’m slammed through the side of a tree, I know for sure I fucked up. Thankfully Shield blocks me from taking anything truly damaging; I’ll have a big ugly bruise for sure, but no actual damage to the deeper tissues occurred. This might be the definition of extra extra fucked up. Oh god it’s in my thoughts.

 

“Well. Extra extra strong for a robotic wind user- why’s it in Rhode Island though?” I hum to myself as I play dead in the splinters of the tree. The red twister robot flies off in a hurtling of wind; I sit up, stand, and stretch. My sword is firmly buried in the dirt- I amble over with a slight limp, Raven’s going to be mad at me- oh  _ what _ \- and yank it free, snapping the tenuous illusion I’d tethered to it. I’m just in time to see a black haired teen with a black and red Superman shirt yell at a green skinned red-head and bound away. Hm.

 

“So, what exactly was your plan here?” I ask the two remaining teens- green girl looks startled for some reason, and the other one is super cute. Oh shit that’s Aqualad oh my gosh. Oh. Oh nooooo.

“I am not sure we had a plan at all.” says the very handsome Aqualad.

“Right- so, here’s what  _ I’ve _ noticed- Red X, local, by the way; Your red twister guy-” I say.

“H-he called himself Mister Twister-” says the green girl.

“Ah, thank you, I was wondering. Right, Mister Twister has no goddamn reason to be in Rhode Island. Red Tornado is local here; if he wanted to go on a typical villain spree, it oughta been somewhere midwest where there aren’t trees or mountains to get in the way of a real strong wind, and there isn’t a hero with the  _ exact same powers _ . ‘Cuz that’s dumb. Meaning, he ain’t working on his own. He can’t be- someone’s smart enough to make a robot with wind based superpowers and uses him to what, call out the local hero?” I say, arms crossed, toe tapping.

“Actually, yes. Mister Twister spent the majority of the fight insulting us and asking where Red Tornado was.” said Aqualad.

“And there it is- he’s here on behalf of Dr. Tomorrow.” I say.

 

They both look at me oddly. I look back at them a little oddly too, then remember that neither of them are actually from Rhode Island. (Ignore that  _ I’m  _ not exactly from Rhode Island either, and this costume is way too good to be the one I made but I also have clear memories of making it what the fuck what the fuck.)

 

“Okay, so- I’m going to assume that you two and Mr. Grumpy what left aren’t the only people in your group…? So. I can explain my conclusion now, or on the way, or…?” I ask.

“Explain on the way.” says Aqualad.

The large red space ship that appears over us all is a cool indication of just what I’ve gotten myself into.

So, uh. It turns out I can see directly through the ship whenever it goes into camouflage mode. Which is outstanding, really, what with the near crippling fear of heights. I drop my hood back, peel out of my mask, and rub my face. I don’t wear makeup here either it seems, except for some chapstick I found under the computer table- don’t you judge me in that tone, I have no money. My ostentatious glasses draw a raised eyebrow from Aqualad.

 

“Right. History time. I came at this from the other direction- I only vaguely know anything about the robotics side. Red Tornado’s powers come from the Tornado Champion, which was a powerful air elemental. It was also one half of the ancient terror of Rann, the Tornado Tyrant, but that’s not really important right now. I’d know if it was. Back when the JSA was still actively doing things, there was a villain what called himself Dr. Tomorrow. That man built a- considering the fact that it was able to be possessed by an air elemental, I’ll call it a simraculum- and used it to fight the JSA. When the Tornado Champion came to this dimension, it found a suitable body in what Tomorrow had built, and took it for it’s own.” I say in my brain. Green girl is named Miss Martian- wait, why does she look like Megan from  _ Hello! Megan _ , I’m not just seeing that right?- and she’s from Mars which is a thing and also extra extra amazing.

“Magic isn’t real.” says Kid Flash. Also extra cool. Completely wrong, but cool.

“Yeah, I’m not quite ready to unpack the differences between magic and mysticism right now, we’ve got other problems.” I say.

“Dude, seriously, now is not the time.” says Robin. (I distinctly remember seeing his parents at the circus that one time in China, I think. I’ll have to see him move first, but those colors are two hundred years old at least.)

“Do we have a plan or what?” says Superboy.

“I do.” says Miss Martian.

  
  


So the plan went like this- Miss Martian transformed into a semblance of Red Tornado, Kid Flash used his super speed to make the wind, and the rest of us brought the big man down. I gave them a rundown of my skills, and it was decided that I’d stay with the Bioship as support. Turns out my particular kind of magic and the Martian bio-mechanisms synergise very nicely. Also, placing Fly in Miss Martian’s bioship makes it look like I’m riding in a giant canada spirit goose.

This is my life now.

These are my choices.

Also Miss Martian just crushed a dude with a giant boulder. Oh wait, no, smells like a robot, okay. So not a dude. Still a bit- eep. Ow ow ow ow what the hell is that noise ow ow fucking- Draw Card, Silence!

Agh!

 

“Um.” says Aqualad.

“I can hear radio transmissions. Usually I ignore them, but that one was both local and really, really loud. Kid Flash, you should probably put that down, that’s where it was coming from.” I say, pointing at the green robotic eye he was holding. He promptly drops it.

I walk over, scoop it up, and smack it flat between my two hands. Crunch crunch crunch. Silence, and silence, and I pass it back to him.

“Now it’s safe to have as a souvenir.” I say.

“Sweet!” says Kid Flash.

 

Okay moving on.

According to my ID, my name is Theresa McGinnis; I’m 17 years old, female, organ donor, and allowed to drive trucks, cars, and motorcycles. My receipts say I live in Happy Harbor, Rhode Island; my grocery list says I live with my housemates- My cousin, Dana and her boyfriend, Thrace; Jinx, who lives in the attic; Raven, who lives in the cellar; Starfire, who has the room with the window facing the tree; Amethyst, who is technically a princess; and me. We apparently live in one of the casino’s down in the historical district, but it got dimensionally shifted or something? Point is, I was out on a mail and grocery run. We can’t exactly get mail delivered.

Oh yeah, Raven’s going to be mad as shit.

I can’t just ask these guys to drop me off somewhere though, that’d be wierder. 

 

“I need to make a call, if that’s okay?” I say out loud.

“Uh- sure?” says Robin.

“Cool.” I say.

 

I reach into my bag and pull out my seashell. It’s one of those pointy spiral ones, that look a bit ear-shaped, maybe? Anyway, my shellphone is the only way to get calls into and out of the house. It unfurls like a tesseract, painting an extra dimension into the air, before resolving into a sea-shell themed cellphone famiscle.

I have an entertainingly bad sense of humor.

Dana picks up the phone. I know that because I have prescience, among my other medium powers. I got like the jumbo grab bag of ESP, but instead of taking a share and passing it, I took the whole damn bag and just ran for it. Oh dear, Dana’s been talking.

 

“-anyway where the hell are you Terry? You left for mail and groceries this morning, and my Firebird has bucket seats so what’s the fucking holdup?” says Dana.

"I found a weird thing in my bag and met the local superheroes.” I say.

“...How weird?” says Dana.

“Eh. Weird enough. Anyway, there was a bunch of teens with attitude fighting some twister ya-hoo and there were cars being tossed around and they were headed towards the powerplant and you know how I feel about fucking around with municipal services Dan-” I say.

“So, being you, you had to jump in-” she says.

“Naturally- so right, like, twister asshole was actually a remote controlled robot? Anyway, I’m riding in a spaceship from mars now, with them. Kinda hoping this might be a thing.” I say.

“That’s… That’s honestly exactly like you, I don’t know what I was expecting to happen… Just. Terry, one question.” she says.

“Yes, Dan?” I ask.

“Where’s my fucking car, Terry.” she says.

“Oh- okay love you, be back with the groceries and the mail later okayloveyoubye.” I say.

“THERESA-” she starts to yell, but I hang up on her before it’s too late.

 

The car that flew past the library earlier this afternoon was a black Pontiac Firebird. So, as a tally- Raven’s going to be mad I’ve injured myself again, Dan’s going to be mad I fucked up her car, Star’s going to be mad because most of this grocery list is for her, Jinx is going to be upset because everyone else is upset, and Amethyst is almost never awake with the rest of us so she should be fine, as I ensured the electricity would stay on.

Yep. Hittin’ on all sixes today.

I mean, I can fix Dan’s car easy, it’s just. This is not the first time I’ve messed up her car. Well. While I’ve still got the phone out, might as well text Jinx- she’s got phone anxiety, so I’ll just text her. Should be fine.

 

♥ It me- just letting u kno that I got into Superhero shit 

♥ Extra also pissed off Raven

♥ And Extra extra Dana

♥ And Starfire

♣ Oh god, what the hell? All you had to do was get the mail and go grocery shopping Ter

♣ How did you even

♥ I kno I kno

♥ sorry

♣ It fine

 

It’s not, but I’m being kinda rude and also the connection is getting tenuous. We must be getting closer to the mountain- yep there it is aaaugh why did I look outside oh god oh god. Well. Let me just tuck my legs up and ignore that we’re in a spaceship it is rated for space and is definitely safe I’m  _ fine _ .

 

“So, uh, sorry about that- who are you guys anyway? I mean, I know of some of you individually, but like- does this band have a name?” I ask aloud.

“Um- we’re kinda new, so we haven’t really… gotten that far.” says Miss Martian.

“A-huh. Well, if you ask me, I’ll take the Young Justice League over no Justice League at all any day of the week. Thank you for stopping Mister Twister, guys. Um- should you really be taking me back to your secret base though?” I say. (There. Right there. That’s how names start.)

“Ah. Actually, I have some concerns that would be better addressed at the base. This is our team, and you seem…” Aqualad trailed off.

“Our team is good, but it could be better. You want in?” says Robin, with the nice pickup.

“Um. Well. Hell yeah. Ah- actually, I’ve got some ideas about who else might be good to have around...” I say. Robin cocks his head at me, so I elaborate. “Well- Lemme introduce myself. Red X, medium, necromancer, enchanter, and potioneer. I have many skills and talents, and all of them are best used in the support or defense of others. Nice to meet you. I am currently in cahoots with, in order, a powerful probability manipulator, a mage focused on healing and barriers, a different medium and her boyfriend who is a minor god, an alien princess from a slightly different dimension and planet, and another alien princess from a slightly different dimension. All of them would be good additions to your team in various ways.” I say.

Then I smile.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

So they totally have a secret base. I was being facetious, but holy shit it’s actually a thing. I still need to get the mail and groceries but- but SECRET MOUNTAIN BASE THAT’S EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA SUPER COOL. Oh jeeze I better go fix Dan’s car though, she’s going to be extra mad as is- Draw Card, Twins! I follow the team deeper into their extra extra super cool secret mountain base, and I slip out of their Mountain and away into the woods, traveling quickly back towards where I left the wreckage of Dan’s car.

I drop Sword, Shield, and Wind, but keep Jump and Fly. This is a good idea- I’d never be able to run all the way back into town in time.

 

“So. This is your secret base? I mean, wow. I knew there was weird dimensional flux around here, but the same can be said of all the major mountain ranges worldwide.” I say.

“You keep saying these things but you also profess to be some kind of, what, mage?” says Kid Flash.

“Medium, Kid Flash. Necromancy grew out of being a medium, and if you’re really wanting to have this conversation, we can. Maybe later over coffee milk or something?” I say.

“U-uh, sure?” he says.

“Cool, it’s a date.” I say.

Yeah, Aqualad is super cute. So is Kid Flash. (Actually, I have more in common with Kid Flash as far as I can tell.) Robin is smirking at me and nodding. I feel a sharp vulpine grin widening my mouth, and jerk my chin at Robin. Kid Flash is sputtering beside us both.

 

I drop Fly and land lithely onto the exposed axle of Dan’s Pontiac Firebird. Oh yeah, I’m never ever telling her how bad this was. Wow. Draw Card, Time! With a wave of my hand, the car tesseracts into itself and then unfolds into a pristine version of being. I have my bag, so I duck behind the car’s solid bulk and change into my regular day clothes. (Stick shift, nice.) Drop Time to the bottom of the Deck; it’s not good to leave that one in play.

Thankfully, the post office I needed to go to is still open. My keys have my mailbox key on the main ring, and everyone else’s are on a separate ring. Thankfully the mail is pretty light today- oh shit Amy got a new game. Welp. Looks like all the housemates are going to be pissed at me. Damn.

Might as well get everything on the grocery list while I’m out. I’ll get more than the usual amount of coffee syrup so I can take some to the Mountain later too.

 

The grocery list is as follows:

 

♥TERRY

Coffee Syrup

Soymilk

2 ½ lbs cherrystones

Cherries

Blueberries

Sandwich meats

Mayonnaise 

Spicy Rooster Ketchup

Kosher Hotdogs

Rice

 

♣ JINX

Frozen Pizza

Lemonade Concentrate

Oranges

Lemon-lime pop

 

☻ RAVEN

Nectar Drops

Peanut Butter [Creamy]

Blue Flavor Cool-aide

Cherry Gel-o

Pumpernickel Bread [Sliced]

 

♠ DANA

Vinegar

Tomato Soup

Coconut Oil

Rice

2 ½ lbs cherrystones

Apples

Pears

 

♂ THRACE

Olives

Olive Oil

Fresh Fish

Goat’s Cheese

Mozzarella (Fresh)

Oatmeal

Pasta

Antipasto

Chicken

Wine

 

☺STARFIRE

Mustard

Dijon Mustard

Mustard Seeds

Wasabi

Pickled Ginger

Green Pickle Relish

Cream of the Tartar

Starch of the Corn

Coloring for Foods

Bottled Juice of the Lemon

Quail Eggs

Duck Eggs

Hamburger Helper

Thighs of the Chicken

Eggnog

Oil for Motors

Antifreeze

 

♦AMETHYST

Sugar

Salt

Multivitamins

Saltines

Smoked oysters in oil

Capers

 

Oh my god everyone has really different handwriting.* Oh my god Starfire’s an Omnivore, capital O. Oh my god I’m allergic to dairy. Oh god. Oh god. Freak out central, here we come.

The list blurs. My hands are shaking, can’t make anything worth a damn when you’re shaking. Oh god I can’t breathe, why can’t I breathe-

  
  


I take a deep breath of the air in the Mountain. It’s- odd. I’m getting a lot of information, and a lot of… nothing. Oh this place is weird. Whoop, time to interject.

“-I still don’t understand why Red Tornado didn’t interfere at all.” says Kid Flash.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is all of youse team, right? Like, you decided on your own to step into the big leagues?” I say. “Well, why would he? Part of accepting adult responsibilities is actually being responsible- by declaring that you’d go off and do your own thing, you also declared that you’d engage in all manner of heroics whenever need arises. I guess, since Red Tornado is aware of your presence here, he decided to see how you’d do on your own. If there had been actual need of him, he’d have been there.”

“That is quite correct.” Says Red Tornado. Holy shit holy shit holy extra shit.

“Thank you, sir. I- I got one other thing to say.” I look at Red Tornado, who doesn’t move? But I sense a gesture of “go on then” from him, which is also very. Odd. (Okay, looks like I’m more in tune with the immaterial world than I thought.) “I won’t pretend to know how your team is set up- but if it’s your team, you need to put protocols in place, like who’s in charge, how recruitment works, and what to do in the event of whatever. Stuff like today is what gets people killed- your teammates, civilians, even your enemies.”

“I agree.” says Aqualad. “Although we were successful in preventing Mister Twister from overly harming the city, I do not think we were particularly effective as a team as quickly as we could have been.”

“Yeah. I only saw the aftermath, but lemme see if I can’t extrapolate; Robin, Kid Flash- neither of you is a part of a near-equal partnership right now. This team of yours is just that- a  _ team _ . It’s okay to take the initiative; it’s not okay to go off on your own, because you’re not. Superboy- it’s okay to be angry. It’s not okay to yell or intimidate others when you’re angry, especially your teammate. Further, if you do lash out at them, it’s really not okay to immediately leave an active combat zone. There was no way of knowing if I was a friendly or a hostile, or if Mister Twister was a lone operator or had a team backing him up. You put your teammates in danger, and you put yourself in danger too. Miss Martian- in the future, I’d really appreciate it if you were a bit more confident in yourself. Too much confidence will get you hurt, it’s true- but having too little confidence results in not speaking up about the actual resources you have available until it’s nearly too late. Aqualad, as I recall, you’re an enlisted soldier in the Atlantean Military- meaning you’ve, presumably, got actual training in at least small squad tactics and deployment. Until and unless one of the others proves to be better at it naturally, you’re going to be the one with the most training and experience working in a team like this- a small to medium sized group of distinctive operators with their own unique skills, yeah?” I say. Oh my god I actually speak in paragraphs. Oh good god there’s more. “As for myself, I was way too hotheaded and impulsive. I shouldn’t have interfered in the battle without knowing more about the opponent, or you guys’ efforts to stop him. I can’t be the leader either- I’m too used to working off my own initiative.”

“...Wow. I didn’t know other people did that too.” says Robin.

“Oh, yeah- introspection is not on reserve for the Gothamite Hero’s Association.” I say.

“While I do admit this conversation is fascinating, I am much more concerned with the unknown person accompanying you.” says Red Tornado.

“This is Red X, a local heroine. She came to our assistance while we were dealing with Mister Twister. Robin and I consider her and her allies to be prudent additions to the Team.” says Aqualad. (Holy shit what what holy shit holy shit holy fucking shit.)

“I was not aware that new recruits would be vetted by anyone other than the senior League.” says Red Tornado.

“I was not aware that this was not our team. Unless of course, I have misunderstood something?” says Aqualad.

INTERJECTION!

“Yeah, see, this. This is exactly what I was talking about before. Um- I… hang on.” I say. I pull my bag forward off my back and pull out the grocery list, folding over one edge of it. Draw card, Fire. A very delicate application sears my contact information onto the surface of the paper, then cleanly severs the folded portion from the rest of the page. Shuffle to the bottom of the deck, and I hand the information to Robin. 

The information on my impromptu calling card reads as follows:

 

LOST TREASURES MEDIUMS AND MAGIC

 

“I’d be happy to join your team- as soon as you have, you know, a charter and maybe a code of conduct? I’m not really comfortable entering deals where I don’t have some understanding of the consequences involved in breaking it. Look me up in the local yellowpages if you want to get into contact again. Oh, and Kid?” I say.

“Oh, uh- yeah?” says Kid Flash.

“Le’me know when’s a good time for that date, okay?” I say, winking at him. (Salaciously.)

And then I drop Twin and gasp for breath in the driver’s seat of Dan’s two seater Pontiac Firebird. I’m parked a little bit under the street light of the parking lot. The grocery list is nearly crumpled into a spiky ball, and with each wheezing breath, hot tears are painfully squeezed out of my eyes. A great squeezing pain is pressing in on me, and my blood feels like ice. Spots of darkness and intense light flash and flicker through my vision, leaving dizzy snail slime trails behind them. I feel suddenly ill, intensely nauseated, and I know without the shadow of a doubt that Dana will actually kill me if I throw up in her car.

I clamp one shaking hand over my mouth and drop the crumpled list onto the dashboard before fumbling with the door handle. An ominous seizing heave in my guts and chest before a warmth rises in my throat- I bound three spaces over before bowing and retching the entire contents of my stomach. I had some sort of vegetable medley, white rice, some kind of meat, and alcohol for lunch today, it would seem. Dry heaves are worse than actual vomiting, I think- because at least when you vomit, something actually changes, has a chance at getting better. Dry heaving just means your body is trying to throw up but it can’t but it  _ just keeps trying _ . Your stomach acid burns your throat and an awful soreness settles into the whole of you, making everything ever so slightly worse at that point in your life.

Dan has a pen in the cupholder.

I add a toothbrush, toothpaste, and my prescriptions to my list. I cannot put it off anymore, and I swore I would change. Just breathe. Just keep breathing.

Here’s a fun fact about alcoholism they don’t really mention- because an ounce of alcohol has 200 calories but no real vitamins or minerals to speak of, most alcoholics are actually pretty vitamin deficient. My regimen includes vitamin B-1 and a multivitamin, because for a long time my diet was entirely liquid. When I get home, it doesn’t matter how angry everyone is at me, or how much I don’t want a confrontation- I have to clean out my room of every stash drunk me snuck in, every empty bottle. I have to apologise, and listen to what they have to say.

I can’t keep doing this to myself. I refuse. I’m not a little street rat anymore, and while the visions and the ghosts can be overwhelming- unless my doctor, Raven, tells me otherwise, I’m going to abstain from self medicating again. I can do this. I can do this. (Oh jeeze. Why did I do this? No- done is done. You  _ can _ do this, Terry-me.)

It- it hurts so bad, but. But it’s not so bad I can’t talk about it, can’t think about it. It’s not.

* * *

* * *

 

I lock up Dana’s car, grabbing the list. I pocket the keys, make sure my bag is definitely secure. There are some perks to not wearing much more than chapstick. There are some perks to having literal small toys glued to the frames of my glasses. No one’s looking at my eyes too close when there’s an entire Kyary Pamyu Pamyu video around them.

Getting everything at the local megamart isn’t too hard; I’ve got the actual shopping route down to a quick half-hour march. We all contribute to the shopping fund too, so the card I swipe has no issue. Everything even fits into the car with a minimum of wrangling.

And then I go home.

 

Okay so, I don’t know how Granny Black actually got the deed to this property. I also don’t know how old that broad is, so I guess it’s a moot point. It’s built the same as the other Old State Houses around the state; hardwood floors, formal rooms, fireplaces, the works. It’s on about fifteen acres across the harbor from the Mountain; Jinx and Raven keep a massive garden stretching all around the house, except for where the carriage house is. Considerin’ we park the cars there, I understand the hesitation.

My prescience works like- for personal danger of the lethal variety, heads up seven up. Emotional turmoil, social blunders? Nuts to that kid, you’re on your own. I get no little twitches or niggles except for the usual when I have to juggle groceries into the kitchen. Raven looms out of the hallway, an ebon jewfro undercut attached to a marble white form. Cold black eyes and a faintly purple tint to her lips; a red diamond backed with kajal over her third eye.

 

“ **what have you done to yourself this time, Terry?** ” says Raven.

“Just bruising, Rae.” I say.

“ **is that all? Really?** ” says Raven.

“...No. It isn’t. I- I think I need some help cleaning my room. Um.” I say.

“ **...alright. did you get cleaning supplies or…?** ” says Raven.

“I got a bunch of paper bags. I think it’s time for some recycling, if. Um. If that’s- If you don’t-” I stumble.

Raven hugs me, then lets me go too quick for a hug back. “ **...you’re really brave, you know? you’re just about the bravest, strongest person i’ve ever met. is it okay for me to go ahead and start, or do you want to-** ” she says.

I interrupt. “Go ahead. If you find any with, um, still in them, go ahead and pour them out. I don’t- I’ll make myself ignore them, Raven. I can’t.” I say. I don’t know what I’m saying. “I have to do a mail call, anyway.”

Raven smirks. “ **Dan’s gonna be mad, Terry.** ”

“Dan’s always mad, Rae. Sometimes, she’s even angry.” I smirk back.

Thrace lets out a bark of laughter, and shoves another handful of olives in his mouth. He wipes his hand on his oversized sweater, then wraps his beefy python arms around me and gives me a firm brotherly hug. I lean into the hug.

“I’ll talk to her, Terry. Go give Amy her new game, she’s been insufferable for hours.” he rumbles.

 

Thrace is nearly nine feet of pure wiry muscle and fluffy white hair that he keeps in a man bun. He moves silently, and inside the house at least, will tele-appear wherever he feels like. The man has a fine sense of the dramatic too. Dan says that his actual godly form is an offshoot of Ares that used to be the city-god of some place in Greece. Thrace is, apparently, a harvest god- but mostly he just hangs out at the house, cleaning and knitting in the glassed porch. He’s really good at knitting.

I have olive brine on me now.

 

Mail Call is as follows:

 

TERRY

Work Correspondence

Mail-In Payments for Services Rendered

Box of Assorted Small Toys

Box of 5000 (Five Thousand) Marbles

Special Order Bag (For Costume)

Enchanter’s Tools

 

RAVEN

Several nondescript books wrapped in various styles of butcher paper; except for the one wrapped in newspaper, which is muttering to itself and slightly tacky to the touch (I resolve to not ask, and wash my hands ASAP)

 

JINX

Roulette Wheel Insert

 

DANA

Iroc Brand Car Cleaning Accessories

Rockabilly Heels

 

STARFIRE

AV Equipment

SuMo Brand Hair Accessory Value Pack 20000 (Twenty Thousand) Piece

 

AMETHYST

Gamesco Game Cart Pack

New Controller

Big Box of Black Tea from Russia

  
  


Amethyst is first up; her mail goes in a box by the door, and a quick tug of the rope rings a bell inside her room. Starfire’s on the same floor, and beams at me with a pure and radiant kind of joy when I hand over her packages. Jinx is one floor down, and I trade her package for her full laundry basket- dirty, natch. Downstairs to the basement, and Raven gets her books stacked on her coffee table and Jinx’ laundry gets put on the laundry bench. 

There’s nothing quite like a bit of mindless task completion to relax a person, and for me- laundry. Laundry is the best. It takes about twenty minutes to sort Jinx’ laundry and put her underthings into mesh bags; stain treat and fabric soften. The washing machine has a big window on it that I end up staring through while it runs; I fall into a light trance until the washer yowls and then move wet clothes into the dryer. New clothes in, wash on wash on. The sharp bleat of the dryer finishing breaks my slightly heavier trance; I pull out Jinx’ clothes and fold them as necessary. I’ve timed it so that I’m done folding as soon as the washer yowls again. Wet to dry, new clothes in, trance on trance on.

It’s about three hours of self soothing. Jinx’ laundry is folded and in her laundry basket; I carry it back upstairs, leave it just inside her open door. She smiles at me, then throws another knife into her roulette-themed dartboard.

Raven, from the other side of the hallway, gives me a nod. I nod back.

 

I go into my room. There’s a strange emptiness in it now- there’s no piles of empty bottles, no chance of randomly drinking booze because it’s there. Raven is thorough. I check my fridge; my clothes are neatly folded as usual, and the freezer has all my shoes and socks neatly arranged. I finally shuck out of my work clothes and grab my pajamas- huge shirt from the Zoo, a pair of loose black pants, the softest granny panties I own. I have my own shower; so does Dan and Thrace.

Shower goes quick; pajamas go on easy. I take a moment to pick up all my laundry, change the sheets on my bed. Fluff the pillows. I’m stalling.

 

“You’re stalling.” says Dana.

“Yeah.” I say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * There was a font joke here, but the internet ate it. :/


End file.
